Damian Bourne

Three of the four men who had been enrolled in the Archer Academy have returned from the first challenge, Bejamin Moore, the Jamaican Jiggalo has apparently vanished without a trace, leaving the others to ponder where he is. Quietly, they chatter amongst themselves until Nicholas Maximus walks in pushing an old VHS player and television tray style combo you would see in an old public school. From his satchel he removes a video tape and slides it in, pressing play. The quality is poor for a moment, snow controls the box before inevitably Thomas Archers face fills the screen. In the background, are some monuments, it would appear he is now in Greece. Archer: Congratulations, you have all passed! Including Benjamin Moore, despite the fact he actually failed the challenge. As such, he is being held in a secret location... Which brings us to our next challenge... Archer leans forward, clasping his hands together. Archer: It is up to you to find him based on a series of elaborate clues I have set out for you all. Whoever finds him the fastest, gets a cut of the money they made for me in the previous round. However, if Joshua Tucker wins I will pay for an advertising campaign to put his name up on lights all over the cities that host OCW shows for the rest of the season. Archer examines his finger nails. Archer: The rest of you, well... You'll just get a one handed golf clap. The footage cuts towards Benjamin Moore, slumped over in an undisclosed location. Archer: Let the game begin... Archer begins to cackle as Nicholas returns, wheeling him out of the room, Bourne, JT and Sparks look at each other before all making a mad scramble for the door as the scene fades. As Sparks ran towards some stairs and eventually disappeared out of Bourne’s vision a car engine is heard starting above ground. Bourne stands there with his arms crossed and a disappointed look on his face as JT pulls out a chair and sits down. Bourne: So one of you runs off to sing Kumba-fucking-ya and the other just sits here to quote on quote I guess eliminate Benjamin from this stupid challenge. Are you kidding me? I mean sure, I want to become the next “International Icon” just like the rest of the stupid and useless rookies, but a man’s life isn’t worth all that. Damian walks past JT and smacks him on the back of the head, then jogging off to some shipping container to search for the Jamaican sex machine known as Benjamin Moore. He comes across a large black sized shipping container and reads the side of it. In big gold and white embossed letters, the company on the container is read out to be “Brazzers”. Bourne looks at the camera and winks. Bourne: Another time...although...Benji did make a couple of pornos in his career. I guess we’ll take a peek for holds up fingers and does air quotes research purposes. Dami chuckles and opens up the crate, the inside contains bunches of cardboard boxes with the companies logos on them. He rubs his hand together like an evil mastermind and opens up a box. Peering inside. Bourne: Benji!!! You damn gigolo!!! You in here??!! Nah I don’t think this is it...so. MOVING ON! Damian hesitates to grab something out of the box but sighs, sucks his teeth and closes it. He walks out of the container and moves onto the next one, although the container is out of frame Bourne begins to read the company name aloud. Bourne: E! O! Oh shit, wait a minute...yeah this container probably only contains garbage so we won’t check inside of it, because Benji or any other good wrestler wouldn’t be caught dead inside of that shithole. Bourne moves on to the last shipping container, he sighs and hopes that this is the one that Benjamin Moore is in. Crossing his fingers, he slowly opens the doors and his jaw drops. The inside of the container is now shown to the viewers, about one hundred Code Jackman body pillows are stuffed together inside. They all uncomfortably stare at Damian and he stares back. Two minutes pass until Bourne looks into the camera. Bourne: It’s unbelievable! My past always comes back to haunt me! This is some repugnant shit...and I ultimately need a break. Bourne closes the doors of the shipping container and walks off a little bit, but not too far to where the crates are out of view. He pulls out a Juul and starts hitting it as the scene fades to black.

Of course there is, it’s called the comments where you can talk trash !

The noise of an OCW live event can be heard in the background, every now and again a loud bang chased by a chorus of “oooh’s” breaks through the volume levels. As time goes on a smartly dressed Nicholas Maximus appears pushing a trolley with four cardboard boxes on them. For the night, the four members of the Archer Academy have been given their own locker rooms. In each room, the four men are getting ready for whatever insane challenge they’re going to be set. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK! All four practically jump out of their skin, Benjamin in particular looks like he might even be having Nam style flashbacks due to the horn. Eventually a small television clicks on and Archer begins to speak. Archer: Greetings peasants, you are all hearing my voice from sunny Tijuana, I am enjoying life whilst you will be doing as much as you can do to… Sell individual items I have picked out for you. They will now be delivered by my favourite helper, Nicholas! Chop chop! Nic hands Damian Bourne his box and he opens it, revealing the contents to the wrestler. Bourne hesitates for a minute but then pulls out a plastic ziploc bag full of what seems to be AC Cobra photographs. He thinks for a moment but then reaches in his pocket and pulls out a sharpie. He pushes the box off of the desk in front of him and sits down. Bourne: Firstly I’d just like to remind everyone that I’m not doing this by choice. I’m sure if I don’t comply then this sicko wi- HOOOOOOOOOOOONK Bourne hears the horn but covers his ears too late, he waits for the muffled horn sudden stop to continue. He then starts pulling the 8x10 AC Cobra photographs out of the bag. Bourne: Now ladies and gentlemen, what we have here are genuine OCW pictures of the loved AC Cobra. Now I’m sure none of you want photographs of a desperate, thirsty, hopeless loser virgin gamer. Bourne: But...I’m sure if the illegitimate bastard love child of Mr.Sensation himself, also most likely to run the company after the old man dies were to sign these photographs...then you could wait until he’s the CEO to sell them on EBay like the no life dickheads you are, and of course it’ll only cost you $30 each. Capisce? Gracias Bourne then takes the cap off of the sharpie he retrieved from his pocket earlier and signs the photos on the desk. After completing those, he pulls out more and continues signing them until the scene fades to black.

Does this page mean we can spoil Endgame?!

Page Twoooooo?

Mark Reese killed it this show! Literally!

I’m all out of love! I’m so lost without you!

We need more Superkick Parties! #BookAsher

There goes my titles...

Please quit harassing me, I don’t go on any shows and mention your name. I’m tired of you and the others bullying me while I’m just trying to enjoy my time here... piss off

The scene is set in the kitchen of a New York apartment, faint footsteps can be heard getting closer and closer. Damian Bourne steps into the frame, opening up a cabinet and pulling out a box of DunkAroos. Leroi Daniels walks into the frame with a baseball bat in hands, Bourne turns around and is swung at by the young rookie. He successfully ducks before snatching the bat out of the hands of Leroi. Bourne: What the hell is wrong with you?! Leroi: Bruh, you’re still here?! Damian drops the bat, and opens the fridge to grab some milk. Leroi has a disappointed look on his face as he picks the bat up off the floor. Damian starts to grab a spoon but his arm is grabbed by Daniels. Leroi: You said for a couple of days Damian! Not for multiple weeks! You’re staying here running up all my goddamn bills! Bourne: Are you done? Like...can you let go of me? Besides, I’m willing to help you out with some tips to defeat Mistico so my stay here can be prolonged. Deal? Leroi lets go of Damian Bourne’s arm, and lets out a sigh. Thinking to himself “I do need a good win...all I’ve done is disappoint the fans with losses.” Daniels reaches into the cabinet and grabs a bowl for Damian. Leroi: Talk... Damian: All I’ve done is train Hijo De Mistico, if it wasn’t for me he’d be another jobber on the roster. Remember how he won the Pride Championship? Leroi: ...Yeah why? Bourne opens up the box, and pours the cereal into the bowl, grabbing the milk right after. Damian: That was all me baby, I taught him all those holds he used to wear down the legs of Archer. I’ve had to carry that Mexican piece of trash on my back for the past months, just for him to take my titles and SAY HE EARNED THEM!!! Leroi: Calm down Bourne... Damian: Nah, I’m not gonna calm down because I do everything but the fakeness. What Mistico is doing on TV right now is being fake and a snake, he ain’t earned shit. I’m willing to give you what you need to defeat this pig as long as you’re willing to listen. Bourne grabs his bowl of DunkAroos and walks out the kitchen, Leroi follows behind him in hopes of gaining all the knowledge he can to beat former Pride Champion Hijo De Mistico.

Incoming!!! #SUPERKICKPARTY

Love it ❤️, seems like it should’ve went on the actual Turmoil show though, however I’m sure something came up. Can’t wait to see Evelyn in the women’s division!

“the drip is no more”!!

The scene is set in the OCW performance center, there’s few people training, and outside a light mist is setting. It’s around 3AM in the morning as Damian arrives at the center looking to try out some new moves. He sets his gym bag down next to his usual practice ring, out the corner of his eye he notices someone familiar, the same figure who’s constantly working in the performance center day in and day out. Bourne picks up his bag and walks over to the ring the man is highflying onto practice dummies in, as he gets closer and closer the figure is made out to be the young rookie T.Y. Sparks Jr. Setting his bag down next to the ring he would take his hand and start banging on the canvas to alert the Prince of Flight. Bourne: I see you in here 24/7 working the hardest you can, but then I watch your matches backstage and see that you can’t get your opponent down for the 1-2-3 for real. What’s up with that anyways? Sparks sits on the top rope, taking a drink of water to hydrate himself. He hops off from his seat and exits the ring to approach Damian. Mean mugging the wrestler he would put a towel over his shoulders. Bourne would chuckle at what he felt was ignorance directed towards him. Bourne: When you’re in front of me you might want to check that street attitude at the door boy. Sparks: Who are you to question my in ring work when your in ring work got you suspended. Actually why are you even here anyways? Damian would extend his hand out towards the Prince of Flight to dap him up, Sparks hesitates for a second but eventually gives him dap. Bourne: I like your style, for some reason you don’t seem soft like all your Air Quote Experience Air Quote buddies. I guess the reason why I’m here is to practice at getting better, just like yourself. Obviously you need it more than me, although someone like Damian Bourne could help you execute your moves more effectively and efficiently. Sparks would think to himself “I’m the one who needs help? This fool can’t even stay on shows but I need the help…” Although the Prince of Flight had major confidence he did feel there was something missing when it came to his ability in the ring. His constant losses to his opponents would make him rethink what Damian has said to him Sparks: Man...I’ll sleep on it, but I need to talk to my friends first.He chuckles a bit You’re ego is too big. T.Y. would pick up his gear and head towards the showers to wash up after a long night of working out. Damian would feel like this experiment of his was gonna be just fine…