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Pugh

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Pugh last won the day on March 26

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    #kidego

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    Being a #heel. Being the best

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  1. They airlifted this man like he was Shamu. Excellent.
  2. this is such a bad faith argument. FPR is the grounding of ocw. If you objectively break rules, then claim you haven’t, then double down on that - people will be mad. It’s disrespectful to Emp, Jay, everyone. Own up, apologise, move on. Getting personal over this is wildly childish.
  3. calling out egregious FPR breaks is not the same as calling out characters you don’t like. Just floating that as an idea.
  4. Jynx vs Scooty X *** I don't know if I'll ever get onboard with Jynx's music. Turrble. But his vibe is fun, so it is what it is. Didn't like the attire, felt a little bit too far from his usual stuff, but it is what it is. Scooty's pyro is fucking tragic. UNDESERVED. Scotty really making his PPV debut this late is wild. Attire is ok, although Scotty is a dork. Looking past the FPR and the background noise issues, we had plenty of back and forth and that was pretty good to me. Didn't vibe with the match super hard, but nothing really offensive. Evil Sue Damn "I'm gonna speak really slowly for the dumb foreigner". Completing the heel turn, would've liked to have some of the angles mixed up a little because I got bored of watching the text (i have a short attention span sue me... Sue. Me.) but it's whatever. Job done, heel turned. Tag Hype video. Fucking hate this song for a hype video. So overdone, but whatever. I wish it would've told more of a story, and I wish it would've been a bit more HYPE. It wasn't, it was whatever, but least it exists. Tag Title Match ***½ Just... I don't get it. I know the reasoning is "OCW should be fun" but at least two of these teams have been engaged in a blood feud now they're texting to match outfits before the match (outfits of wrestlers that don't exist in OCW-world mind you). RIP immersion. Daft. Mass Effect, put some crowd noise on your entrance. Some decent work with the intros. Lots of chaos, some decent team work isolation. I would've loved this match to have ended when Idiots cleared the ring and the other two teams actually did their feud shit - it made all the sense in the world. Another one of those matches where my interest drifted just because there's too much going on, but that's a personal preference, I get it. I'm glad we finally got Ryvaughn and Chance getting at each other, it was threatened and never finished off a few weeks back. The more this match went on, the more it felt like a bad idea. I understand why the build was so haphazard now - they decided this match was happening weeks ago and then tried to work backwards to get to it. It's kinda a shame the result is what it is - it feels as though Derek has been a passenger for the whole feud, so I would've liked one of the fully engaged teams to come away with the W here. Didn't though. Very weird decision to have Ryvaughn get medical attention when we've just crowned new tag champions - spotlight should've been on them, but it wasn't. Could've easily swapped those two clips round and it would've made more sense, and not taken the shine. The post match was unhinged. Again - let the fucking champs get their shine, this could've been on weekly shows. Heather/Blaine Melodrama RP'er of the year takes aim at Blaine, and they're setting something up for THE FUTURE. Alright structurally, but not super exciting. Mechanically gets the feud moving Karmine Karmine is here and he's ready to FIGHT. Telos don't know nothing about hardship - and Karmine is sick of the self righteousness. Get out here Telos... oh no its no Telos. Weirdly, this A7X song has been used in OCW before, although there was much more reaction when that happened. Please please please, just download some crowd noise for your entrances. Omen really loves tables doesn't he? More DNS hijinx. I hope Karmine isn't dead. Reese vs C-Note ***½ This match had kinda a strange build, it wasn't bad but I'm not super pleased to be sitting down to watch it. Felt a little flat, because C-Note's promos were a bit rambly in places. Always interesting to see what version of C-Note we're getting, different one than I had on my bingo card. Anyway, Mark Reese is out and he's desperate to scorch my retinas with some of the more extreme colours I've ever seen in OCW. Good face stuff though. it felt like C-Note was broken in half very quickly, even though he didn't seem to take a lot of damage. Reese is a monster. C-Note is tossing Reese around like his chonk is inflatable. It feels like Reese is going to win this, but we've still got 4 minutes to go, so pull it out C-Note. C-Note pulling it out! Sig, knee, kicks the fuck out of Reese's nonsense. When C-Note popped the buckle cover off, i'd have liked to have seen something ROTTEN, but nah, just brought us to the end. Flojo's dumb move (for now). Last minute was hot, would've liked a touch more drama but its a good win. Reese can't catch a break. Bash and MDD Bash looks a bit more like a star now. I'm glad. He's left cheeto dust Bash firmly in the past with super Mario Bash. Probably didn't need the video honestly, because we rolled straight into the promo, but anyways. I really like the cult leader vibes of this. MD is starting to question things, Bash is talking to him like a child. DNS explosion on the horizon? Probably not but this drunk bastard might be outta here. Owen vs Sheldon Hype OK, starting with something. If you're gonna have captions on the screen, you need to have them for the words of the promo or the lyrics, you're asking the viewer to read 2 things simultaneously otherwise, and that's genuinely impossible. It was well put together, but I found it a bit rambly. Sheldon not having the nuts to tell sanctum was mentioned more than once, we get it, don't hammer home the same point. I also would've liked some reverb on the voices or something. It sounded like two fellas chatting on a twitch stream, rather than a HYPE FEST to get people into the match. Anyway, least it exists. Owen vs Sheldon Int Title ***¾ Shelly should be out second as Champion please and thank you. I also wish he had a proper tron and he wasn't wearing Dane Xavier's old jacket, but it is what it is. Owen's intro bores the life out of me, I would love the lights to just go dead and then "Mat Enforcer" and then suddenly here he is with some bigtime crowd noise. I get you're going for atmosphere but I don't think it hits right. It needs tweaks to get the vibe you're clearly after. Oh good we're actually getting the match this time, good start. I hope Shelly doesn't choke. He's looked shaky in the last few weeks. Lots of counters back and forth and some nice technicals. It felt as though they knew each other really well, which is great from a story POV. I would've loved if Owen would've carried on with the countout spot, broke the count, got back out, made Sheldon chase him. Just like that. Shelly is still looking shaky. Again, wish the ending wasn't so abrupt but match was pretty good overall. GnG promo Generic as fuck, but least Derek was in this one. No scene setting, no nothing. Just some meh words about being a fighting champion. OK cool. Horse vs Spider Hype NOT HYPE ENOUGH. Another rambly one. Like, it kinda told the story, but wrong song choice for me. Everything seems really downbeat and meh tonight. We can do better. We know how to do better! Edit it tighter, get a bit of momentum going in it and it'd make people wanna watch! Horse vs Spider ***½ AZN BEETSTICK MATCH. Spider almost had aura in his entrance. He didn't but he almost did. I was pleased he had the mask on, it's the only palatable version of Spider. It's hilarious they didn't even have to clear the red smoke between entrances. Really enjoyed it. I looked at the match length on this and thought "how the fuck did Spider spin it out this long" and now I know. The key is the longest entrances in the world. Horse is over. He's a silly bitch but he's over. Started exactly like I was expecting, Spider can't find his reverse button. Horse is a monster and this is the happiest I've been this whole show. Wish he would've died on the steps, Greg ruining our vibe. Fucking cunt. 2 stomps, ALL SHE WROTE. WHO PUT THIS IDIOT IN THE HALL OF FAME?!?! Jay's hopeful "he might just do it" was grand. Damn spider got a second wind, but Blacksmith doing what he does. World Championship incoming. Owen Owen time traveling to a 1980s sitcom where people answer their landline telephone by saying "Fraser Residence". Creative use of the allegedly restrictive Morrison Method here as Owen does lots of good stuff in the bold bits. Excellent. I always don't like past tense, but it's fine here as it's consistent. Although it's still happening now, not in the past, despite my silly joke at the start! KassCUM vs Storm Boyz **** Marriage of convenience time as Kass and Wrex turn up ready to fucking BRAWL. I hope that pyro catches the stupid water man on fire one of these days. Jake using Myriad properly made me happy. High quality start, Wrex is a monster, H2O stinks, some delightful tagging. Quartz beaning Kass and Wrex taking the chance was great, enjoyed it. Kass popping in with the coldest tag in OCW history. Jay's echo is something I invented and I want paying when he does it. Fucking stick of it. H2O is so smarmy, so easy to hate. Weirdly H2O is not losing his head against Kass, IDK why. I want to see him suffer. Wrex is a monster, I love watching him. His moveset is great, he works it really well. Can't be mad at a Wrex match ever. Would've loved a countout finish when they were all going wild on the outside. Wrex vs H2O portion where they're throwing finishers was wild, Kass stealing one. Great end to the match. Really fun. The "we hate each other" dynamic is great. Marisa Doesn't serve a match, it's ok to just say nothing if you ain't got nothing to say... Aisu vs B17 Hype. MORE SLOW MUSIC. FUCK SAKE. I would've cut the anni match much quicker, and focused more on Aisu vs B17, Doc isn't part of this! It picked up at the end, so I'm not mad at it, cutting in Jake losing his shit was great, but then... flat again. These are HYPE packages. HYPE! Watch some WWE ones, a variety of different ones, and see how to HYPE shit. Aisu vs B17 ****½ Mean Aisu entrance was fun. More of that red smoke BROTHER! Must be the only colour they sell north of the border. Crowd noise! JUST GIVE ME CROWD NOISE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. There was more than a small part of me that thought B17 was about to walk out to Toxic by Britney Spears. Completely possible given his penchant for Zombie. Aura here from both though, still no fucking crowd noise to speak of. Never strap an injury BROTHER! Not against Aisu! Counters, high level stuff, great movesets on both. Guess this is why they're at the top of the card. B explosive, Aisu trying to slow shit down but he ain't managing it yet. The targeting of the arms is probably the first dose of WRESTLING STORYTELLING we've had in the matches tonight (yes sometimes its the wrong arm, but sometimes its not). The build was doodoo pampers but I'm really enjoying the blow off. B17 dominating in the end here and AISU is on his way out. Aisu clicking into french 5 sta... whatever its called when AIsu does it territory. Great match. Aisu bad loser. Why is nobody coming out to help? Ripping and tearing! YES, WE HAVE CROWD REACTIONS NOW. THANK FUCK. Extra half star. Always Sunny in Scotia Bank We get it, you've seen always sunny. Geez. Keeps the stuff with Emp and Jay rumbling but geez and crackers can we at least have a different sitcom odd couple reference?
  5. OnDeadlyGroundReview. I’m going to do it in parts because I’m jumping in and out of the show and it works better for me this way. Thanks Spider Spider has literally been doing this same schtick for 100 years. It is tired, but so am I, so I don’t have a lot more to say. Ashley vs Emp S-Cup Final. ** We’ve discussed this on discord over and over. Bad behaviour from a supposed vet. Emp should’ve put her fucking hands up but when she did, she was curtailed by moonwalking the likes of which Toronto’s least favourite son SDW would’ve said was “too much”. And he fucking loved moonwalking. Soured the otherwise fairly decent tournament. Emp spent a lot of time making it feel big only to have the rug pulled out. For. Shame. Cody Hagen I’m glad we got a Cody promo that wasn’t a rundown of Heather’s rise and fall, but he seems to have started writing his memoirs instead. Hopefully now he’s not suspended anymore, we’ll get some good content from him, but at the moment I read these promos with a grimace on my face. They’re just not wrestling promos. They could be, with some tweaks, but they ain’t right now. Maybe get a feud going any there might be some structure, idk. Jynx vs Scotty Hype Good effort for a first go - didn't dig the song, but that's personal preference. Would've had this be a shade shorter, there's lots of stuff you could've cut out of this and it still would've made sense... but as a first stab, can't hate on it too much. Gotta start somewhere.
  6. I can add a comment here cool
  7. Will there be a woman coming? Far as I know you’re a 4ft pile of manure. And I’ve touched manure before.
  8. Only way you’ll get the lution main event…
  9. This is why you haven’t main evented lution.
  10. Riot 618 Review Owen eats So, creative to start off with, thats good. Would’ve done less of the establishing shots and got to entering the restaurant much sooner, but is what it is. So I guess Owen is getting at Sheldon by going for a lady he’s into. Damn. Still, at least he’s not pissing on graves. The read the words bit was weird, I didn’t really understand what I was being directed to do. Then Owen clears his throat and he can speak again. Very jarring, because I’d turned up my speakers to hear the ambience. Said this a couple times, but I don’t vibe with Owen’s delivery. The words are emotional, the voice isn’t so much. But he’s trying so whatever. “Remember this feeling in your chest, in your stomach and in your heart”, Owen’s grasp of anatomy is a bit lacking - memories are in the brains there Alien Head. Anyway, feud keeps moving. Sensational Colours Never in my life have I read a video montage. Never again do I want to. I don’t want to use my immugination, and neither should you. Let’s see some THERAPY Devon vs Jordan vs Derek **¾ Demon Flash is here! At least that’s what the tron says. I would like more energy in Devon’s music or some piped in crowd noise to make me know how I’m supposed to react. Currently its like one of those lo-fi chill things for streamers to concentrate. Derek is here! He exists! He’s Unique as well (like his partner). No personality in the first two intros, lets see what Trance has… oh there’s a commercial and no entrance… wow. Starts with some Devonshire work, but nobody gains anything early on. Jordan going for a couple early pins is exactly what he should be doing as the wee shit in the match. Derek goes yellow after someone breathes at him a little too hard, and then some stuff happens and Devon ends up looking like he’s going to win this match. Lots of back and forth for Trance and Derek and then Trance the unsafe worker busts Devon open - disgraceful, or smart - GIVE YOURSELF A TARGET FOR TEH TITLE MATCH BROTHER. Devon isolates Derek, gets Flashy and then INTERUPTIONS. Feels like this match never got going, Devon was dominant throughout and was never really tackled by the other two. Anyway, win is a win. And over the Champion no less! Luis and Parca My number one pet peeve arrives again - MIXED TENSES. Anyway, we set the scene, Bishop becomes an interviewer for a few mins to give us a window into the mind of Parca. Much better attempt at weaving the past into a promo, no dates, no times, no results. Good stuff. Parca has potential to be a big time face World Champion but the wallowing, emotional stuff kinda is at odds with it. I’d like to see him lean more into becoming a superhero - I’ve seen him emotional and vulnerable too long now, it’s time for him to click into another gear. Bishop gets a buzz - INTRIGUE, WHO IS HE WORKING FOR. Bobbi and Chance “You put your hands on me a woman” is one of the funniest bad AI deliveries we’ve had so far. I feel like this is a middle of the road promo - fine, keeps the match build bubbling, however Derek is barely involved in these things. How are you gonna be a tag team title contender if you’re not in these things b. You’re supposed to be a team and Bobbi puts in more work in GnG. Could’ve probably been better as a written promo, but I get its not exciting. Telos More lo-fi chill-hop as we welcome your friend and mine TELOS! The new champ has some words to impart. Has it really been 6 years? That’s legitimately wild. Very lowkey promo, again, could’ve easily been a written one. The talk about etching himself into the very fabric of OCW felt important, and I was hoping we’d set up a contender here - but we didn’t. Vagueness, hopefully Telos can go from strength to strength because Karmine did some good shit with that old title and it would be nice if it continued. Owen and Shianne I am so confused with the structure of this. So I guess this happened in the middle of the video promo and I’m supposed to go back to it after I read this? That’s a lot of admin b. I’m guessing this is some miscommunication fuck up, but meh, lets just accept it as a promo. More mixed tenses, as Owen turns to face the camera having previously turned to face the camera. The content itself is decent, it’s hyping the importance of the match-up. Shianne playing the Spider role here of being there for comic relief, but could easily be omitted from the whole thing. Overall, kept things going, hopefully it sets up some confrontation later because its a go-home and I love me some confrontation on a go-home Sheldon vs Harris *** Another tune up match for Shelly, although facing your opponent’s alt is always a weird one for me. Anyway, Shelly is a star, munching away at that stupid title belt. One of the best we’ve got, must be protected at all costs. Paul Harris needs new music immediately. Fine song, doesn’t work as theme music - there’s other Oasis songs that have a similar message but a lot more hype to them, have a shop around. Loved Shelly going for the quick sub, then Harris answering it. Both of them are technical so it makes sense to not fly in with hands. The early knockings, Harris takes a little bit of a lead and genuinely had me thinking “maybe” but Sheldon got straight back on the horse and started to dominate in the middle. Harris was getting licks in on that arm throughout, which is great character work. One Finitum out of nowhere and they’ve already got Shelly’s face on the tron. Out of nowhere finish, would’ve liked it to go longer but it was fine. Owen is out - again, pipe in some crowd noise brother! You’re supposed to be a big deal. Got my confrontation, and I’m so fucking glad. Decent segment, snappy and got the point across. Flojo and Dragana More mixed tenses! Your promo is happening now! You’re not describing stuff that has happened, you’re describing stuff that is happening. Or the other way round. Pick one and be consistent. Very short promo, “do your best” is an excellent message. More intrigue! Is Flojo meeting Bishop?! Scotty and Jynx Scotty having some sort of episode in the backstage area as we get tossed some very quick words to try and race through. SLOW DOWN BROTHER. I guess its a challenge? It was very quick! I would’ve liked it longer. Jynx is doing some fun creative stuff and it’s great to see a rookie going in that direction - often times they end up getting dragged along by a grizzled vet, but here he’s clearly leading things and Scotty is just happy to be involved. Wimmins! Shianne is out back from a commercial. Similar vibe to the Telos promo earlier, making her mission seem super grand, which I’m a fan of. The World Title should be talked about like it’s a game changer, and Shianne reckons she’s a worthy person to run this division… so lets see! I also wish she spoke more like a Bugsy Malone tough guy. Soto arrives and talks some trash, I like Soto because she’s got a consistent vibe. Really easy to hate, really good at getting under skins. Would’ve liked to have seen Shianne finish her swing, but we cut away a fraction too soon. Waves the title around and then my least favourite wrestling trope, the lights go out. Now Joanna has the title, and Shianne is broken in half. Deborah turns tail and runs but hot damn that was a damp squib ending if that leads us into the PPV. Marriage Guidance Firstly I don’t appreciate the sass about Chapter 1. Maybe I am slow, suck my dick. Dr. Linda Linda is straight out of old school OCW. Shades of TD. Jay does an impeccable job of writing how he talks, and it never fails. Emp playing the victim here is great, it feels like she’s got a universe of people gaslighting Sensation. Psychological warfare at its finest. As the promo went on, it veered more out of wrestling promo and more into “I just saw Always Sunny for the first time and now I really need to quote it”. Its one of the better parts of the series, but did we need verbatim? Be inspired, don’t copy. Anyways - keeps things simmering and it is what it is. MOTY Stupid Perfect Storm RP’er of the year Doc has got some stuff to say to his brother Quartz. Glad he sent that idiot to voicemail, and now he has to address the other idiot. Quartz talks like a human, makes me want to watch whatever he’s involved in, Harvey utters a single word and undoes it. I don’t know what it is about H2O that I dislike on a primal level, but its definitely on a primal level. Seeing those three characters together “H2O”. Pure anger overcomes me. Anyway, least they’re not dancing between tenses like they’re strapped to a flux capacitor. The handshake was unnecessary in the extreme - like watching two shitty power rangers pledge allegiance to being shitty. On to Toronto! Reese and Note Reese already in the ring, he wants to get things popping early. PUT CROWD NOISE ON YOUR ENTRANCE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE A BIG DEAL! Really missed an opportunity to “Oh Hi Mark” here and you’ll never be forgiven by Drago et al. Challenge is accepted! Watch for the typos! Check out the archives on the newly relaunched OCWFED.COM. Was an ok promo - although it was quite reserved for a go-home promo. Would’ve liked a little more hype, but it gets us where we need to be so… onwards
  11. Marisa vs Heather ***½ Doc is great at entrances, I enjoy Heathers intro, looks and feels big time. Marisa looks good too, both of them present as you’d expect their characters to and that’s grand. Match starts breathless, as many of these S-Cup ones have. We got a couple of pins which is good. One thing to note is that a lot of these matches have been incredibly similar in structure - there’s a need to win, both in character and out of character. There’s not a lot of room for character work in some of them, and its a shame, I’d like to see more. Anyways, Marisa beats the brakes off her and Heather is in survival mode for most of the match, but picks it up at the end. 3 finishers and a fucking stupid handshake… fucking Zombie again. Tag Team Turmoil Idiots are out and they do some nice babyface stuff, pro wrestling 101, interrupted by Mass Effect which is 102, back and forth, nice and simple, then GnG arrives. This is where it gets a little derailed for me. Last week we saw the parking lot thing - Chance was foaming at the mouth, ready to kill Ryvaughn. Devon didn’t arrive, but now he’s here, surely we want more heat. MORE BLOOD. It feels diluted to me, I would love to see like… revenge. The escalation should’ve come because Mass Effect needed to get their licks back. As it is, we’ve got a deep personal issue between two of the teams, but they’re putting it to the side for a title match. Doesn’t feel real, feels like pixels > everything. Anyways, TLC I guess. Kass kreeps around Kass’s blouse is lovely, very 1793 dandy attire. So, hypocrite time again. Callback to a very specific event - HOWEVER. It’s a huge touchstone event in both of these guys careers, so I can allow it here. Call back to big stuff, not to Riot 313 when you beat Johnny Dicksucker in a cold match. Anyway - well put together, a warning - a trope if you will. “You can’t beat me”, then DNS hacks the screen. Fucking sick of these people. But the video was fine, helps us understand why Kass being involved is potentially important. Kass yelling into the ether reminded me of the bit in The Sopranos where Paulie is shouting at those ghosts. Mad Dawg Marisa Good scene setting, Mad Dawg does a great job of talking like Mad Dawg talks, so that’s great news. Marisa lies to Nate to get him off the phone - I SMELL SOMETHING… I am enjoying how diffused this promo is by the lack of the word “fuck” but it's a great lesson. We’re a TV show, we don’t have fucks every 5 seconds. Then… OH NO NATE WAS ON THE LINE… except that’s what they tried. What actually happened was Marisa called Nate to tell him that she was talking to Mad Dawg because this was very clumsily written. Good attempt though, maybe the other Nate is coming back. Boulet vs Parca *** I’ll start out by saying Boulet is going to lose this match, thats my hunch. I figure its his hunch too, so I’m looking forward to seeing how he frames it. Parca’s entrance is very spooky, I would like him to have a bit more energy - lean into him trying to be a face more. You can be conflicted and also put your gameface on when its time to be in front of the crowd. Nice back and forth to start, didn’t feel super route one with them doing only limb damage moves, which can be a temptation in this kind of match. Parca whiffs a springboard and Paul takes over, coming in hot. Lots of grapples going on here, but nobody stealing the advantage. SOMEONE ADAPT QUICK! It feels like no moves happened, but both dudes were damaged as hell, guess thats what reversals will do to you. Parca trying to pull that arm off, so we’re into the attempting to win portion of the match, which is nice, if a little quick. Elementary in the end. Basically a squash match, but you need squash matches to look like a threat. We had subtitles for a sec, then we didn’t! Consistency with em please - if you’re gonna do em, do em. Was the sideways camera because we’re saying Parca clipped the camera man? Would’ve done that wayy faster if that was the intention - all it did was set off my motion sickness. I feel like Parca was diffused way to quick here - he went to nail Maxx, fucked up and then just went “shrug, maybe next time” after being furious 2 seconds before. This could’ve been a good opportunity for a pull apart or something… Maybe next week? I am great Boulet Yes! He frames it as “i had to tap to fight another day” which is clever. Sells his match for End Games too. If you want to improve your promos, read Paul Boulet’s - he does it right. Aisu/B17 Glad this is happening in the arena. Bingo sums up last week, which is good. Aisu looks like he’s trapped in a 1993 New Japan timewarp, but i enjoy it. It’s always tough to frame a face vs face match so I’m glad Aisu drilled B17 here. Makes the dynamic much better for me. Decent work, fuck Aisu. Belle vs Emp ***¾ Jay getting thirsty on the comms for Emp, hideous! Both know how to do an entrance, so that’s grand. Oh character work out the gates - maybe I was right to praise these two. Belle starts hot but Emp takes over and slows that shit down. Honestly, this is a fun back and forth match, they’re doing their thing and its engaging. Emp throwing Belle outside was a turning point for this match - Greg getting hung up on the ropes and Emp hitting the low blow right in front of him was chefs kiss. The last few minutes of this match felt super important, Belle is a great underdog - but Emp doing what she does. Shame it ended so fast. The best wrestler in this division period. Fun main event.
  12. Soto.wmv She’s here, and so is the simp! We’re RTG LIVE FROM BROOKLYN… Teases the later stuff, nice and simple. Although that limo looks like a gas guzzler Karmine What is this the fucking Jake show? Great face promo. Feels like it’s foreshadowing him losing the title. Guess we’ll find out shortly. Good structure, good hype, looks like a memorial video. He’s definitely losing. This version of the song is poo. Karmine vs ??? **** Karmine feels fully fledged. Fully fleshed out. This is how to do an alt properly, take note. And he’s facing… OH NO. TIME IS UP. It’s apt that End Game should show up the night before End Games. The extra S is for Snatch, as in Telos is about to SNATCH that title. I hope anyways, I don’t know. Early slam. Early cover. Wind out of Karmine. Might be in for a rough night. Can he survive this as champion? I really enjoyed the early dynamic of “can he chop the big man down”. I know its something the game gives you for free, but this really worked for the immersion here. Telos wisely breaks the count, knows about champions advantage, its the little things.Karmine showing the heart of a champion but just getting roughed up. I said he might be in for a rough night. Near falls at the end, big moves all over, plenty to enjoy here! Karmine noooo! Got cocky and lost the title. Dummy. Enjoyable title match though GMs I remember being involved in this conversation, so its fun they took it to a promo. Glad Emp has recovered after last weeks attempt on her life. Carrys on the chaos, although feels a bit samey. GIVE US SOMETHING GOOD Sue She’s got two choices for Hifumi. Spoiler alert - both are the same choice. Succinct, and a nice way to do text promos. Heather and the other simp Cody summarising things like a hench Mike Adamle ain’t for me. More of this put everyone else over stuff. Again, not for me. I lost interest so, so quickly here. It’s a long ass promo that regales us with a confused memory of her childhood (which could feasibly be last weeks Riot where Jay threw Emp into the water), everything TOG ate for lunch, Jaysin Sensation’s inside leg measurement. It’s long. It’s boring. It does absolutely nothing for nobody. RP’er of the year my hoop. Mass Effect Juice So I didn’t hate this. I wish it was a little shorter (commercials are like… 30 seconds?). I liked it because it reminded me of Buff Blaster and OG Yoga and they have good memories for me. What’s old is new etc. Well put together. Paul Boulet Old school wrestling promo again. I like it, you like it, the fans like it. Boulet is just good fun to me, speaks like a pompous jerk, and is always talking about whats immediately in front of him - the next match. Gets it. C-Note Quietest gym in the land, but kudos on using “piqued”. A reserved promo given his penchant for gimpery, but it builds some intrigue for next week. Maybe would’ve gone with some music in the background because the clinking and binking made me feel like I was being hypnotised. Sueplex vs Hifumi ***¾ Sue showing up looking all butter wouldn’t melt after her frankly disgusting words earlier. Something is afoot. Hifumi is here too! They both went to the same esports logo store, neat. Pink on Pink. Hate it when that happens, can barely tell who is who. Hifumi starts quick, some nice back-and-forth follows, its nice that everyone is so good at the game at this point. Quick covers, desperate to win. Love that character work from both. The more this match waged on, the more I noticed how big Sue’s head is. Looks like she has to step into her shirt when she gets dressed. As we get later in the match, nobody really seizes the advantage fully. Hifumi is hoarding finishers like nobody’s business… lets see a couple! WE SAW ONE… but no cover and Sue slips away. WE SAW ANOTHER! Fun match. Ohhhh and there’s the foreshadowed turn. Silly Hifumi. Claude Hall Nice to see some written content from this feud(ish). Decent set up, and gives you plenty to imagine. Shocked we didn’t see the heinous messages, but we see enough that Claude is spooked. Keeps things going, hopefully we see more. Blaine Can we just discuss how Zombie is probably the worst rock song in history? Drones on and on and on. We get it, you’re miserable, we all are but we didn’t write songs about it. Maybe we should. Anyway, Blaine. Gender Brutal doesn’t really scan, but Gender Bruetral would’ve been worse, so here we are. Damn, we’re shootin’ at the people who are just happy to be here are we? TENSION in the air as Soto arrives to look at Blaine… oh we’re carrying on. Soto Despite having the same music as a mediocre smartphone, Deborah is a star and I generally enjoy everything she does. Deborah makes light of the scattergun womens division, which i enjoyed because it’s my material too! Here’s Shianne and shes got beef… and then Deborah says hooves which cows have, so Deborah is reading my mind. The fuck is going on. Ms Krabappel stops her hun, and we get a monologue that wouldn’t be out of place in an off broadway production of Bugsy Malone. Generally a good promo, sets up the match, but the jarring nature of 2 voices and a written feels weird to me. I want consistency. Anyways, they all had subtitles so wasn’t too much of an issue. Deborah wins. B17 and family For once I’ll give Spider his props - he invented this daft style of promo where everyone calls someone their father and they start a ragtag band of… fuck knows. Guess this promo continues… Bash and B17’s interactions? Sort of. Bolek is gonna seize DNS anyways. Kameyo vs Ashley **¾ Kameyo ain’t doing too hot in the S-Cup this year so it’s time to pick it up here…. But it is Ashley, and Ashley is mean. Quick covers, selling the importance of the S-Cup points. Ashley gets an early advantage but Kameyo says fuck that and works her way back into it. Ashley just beasts Kameyo after that, and it looks like thats all she wrote but clutch kick out. Ashley is just lighting Kameyo up and there’s no response to it. Another week, another win for Ashley, but another one I just didn’t get into. You’re very conscious you’re watching a video game with this run of S-Cup matches, and it’s not my vibe. MDD Mad Dawg is fighting with himself AND the bottle. Its a solid video, i would’ve liked it a shade shorter, but it was very creative so can’t argue too much. Hopefully we get some sort of intervention soon, because mans been drunk too long. Flojo and Dragana This is a pretty good promo, you can see thought has gone into it. I’m glad we’ve moved away from the 3 line monotony Flojo was carting out a few weeks ago. Using a kid is always a standard for faces and there’s great use of it here. Decent promo. Still not feeling flojo as a contender, but we’re getting closer. Greene vs Anthony ***¼ This might be the first time i’ve paid attention to a Chris Greene match, not because I’m a hater, but because I feel like they’ve been rare recently. And I’m a hater. I think he looks good, nice entrance, timed trons are always fun. A-Mart is here, yay (sarcasm). He still reps the invisible man, that’s nice for him. I hope he gets some sort of breakout soon. Least we know his opponent won’t disconnect this week. Nice start to the match with some quick covers, always welcome in this house. The stunner as an opening gambit is interesting, but we continue. Anthony takes roughly 3 moves and he’s orange, which might be a world record. Greene is giving him a schooling. I really enjoyed A-Mart doing the “i’m smart” taunt after he came off worse in the exchange on the outside. A delightful idiot. This is an absolute demolition, Greene looked great, A-Mart looks like he needs some lessons in PUTTIN YER HANDS UP. BAE Maniacs always go over great in OCW, and this is the biggest one of the lot. Everyone loves delusion and BAE is fully engaged in it here. Chaotic, dumb, he’s looking for a partner. Excellent. Emp Hype. Still killing it, same as last week. Excellent work. Too long. Ashley and Belle Text isn’t on the screen long enough to read, work on that! Callbacks to February 12th 1973 when Bruno slapped Calhoon or whatever, but apart from that, it’s fine. Nothing exciting, nothing offensive. H2O and Wrex Good job setting up the scene, and Wrex is his usual entertaining self. Harvey swings between intimidating and Shakespearean. Gets us moving to the next thing, so fair enough but nothing super exciting. Sometimes you gotta lay some groundwork. ///MORE WILL COME I AM TIRED OF THESE SEGMENTS///
  13. GM LOUD NOISES Lots of loud noises. Like I said, these people are a welcome change of pace on the show but i hate every second of it. I do think Emp has taken the next step though. Lution Main Event when? (lol never) Bingo and Aisu exhibition More than a sniff of Jake Paul and pals about this. B17 THROWING THE CONTEST TO MAKE AISU SEEM LIKE A CONTENDER… Anyways. Didn’t vibe with it, went on too long and doesn’t feel like we’ve got any animosity really. Lets see what comes of it. Paul Harris Promo Alts are hard. I read this in an Owen accent and it was an Owen promo. I feel like Paul Harris is fine but he’s treading ground that a lot of people are currently treading in OCW. Feels like he’s trying to be an old school technical babyface, but speaks a little bit too fancy like for the average American audience which probably makes him borderline heel. IDK. More scattergun vague challenges. Kameyo vs Marisa ***½ Like Kameyo, if she didnt have stupid hair she’d be a star. Marisa is incredibly hateable as a wrestler, much better than when she’s a manager/AA sponsor, which is probably a good thing for this match. Starts off feeling like a fun contest, with subs and pins and whatnot - makes the S Cup feel like sports. Great big moves about midway - Kameyo is gonna take this easily… and then not so much. Marisa piles on the pain and Kameyo ain’t got nothin. Tap out win out of nowhere, which is fine. Could’ve been a banger, but get that S-Cup pointage. Also Mad Dawg needs to settle down, mans out of hand C-Note’s other personality Decent scene setting. This is the best C-Note, not the gimp fancier. Claiming credit for getting Champions into their gold (yes this is out of date and Telos wasn’t yet, sue me) is a fun one. Spends not enough time on Mark Reese for me, but it is what it is. Moves the story, that’s all we can ask for. Burn Book. I can recycle what i’ve already said here. Burying the whole roster is dumb. If you beat them, who’d you beat? If you lose to them, you’re a fool. Quite long and also some of it just isn’t that entertaining… feels like an open mic slot. Anywho Reese Reese talkin’ like this is a great immersion tool, more people should talk like people talk. If you get what I’m saying (talkin’). Good babyface challenge. He even said the name of the show! Exciting times, we roll on. Maxx vs Chance ***¾ Maxx has one of the more complete characters in OCW, and his entrance shows that off pretty well. You know it’s him and you know what he’s all about just from that entrance. V well done. Chance wears a Be Unique shirt but it has a GnG logo on it, so surely that makes him not unique and therefore a hypocrite? Idk. He’s muscly. So is his partner. Anyways I’m getting hung up. Don’t care for his music, wish it was a little more unique. Oh I did it again. Lots of strikes and quick shit to start us off. Both clearly good at the game, maybe have each others number but we’ll see how it shakes out. Chance’s moveset feels off to me, he’s flippy and strong and that always feels weird to me when he’s against someone who looks physically more imposing. Maxx looks like he’s going to take the lead in several points but Chance cuts him off, no real dominance yet. Maxx setting up the 2 flying clotheslines into the kick was nice, but its cut off again! Maxx finally takes control with 1 finisher, kick out… 2 finisher… oh its blocked again, here we go into the end game surely! Chance fires back, trading finishers, exciting end to the match. Can’t help but think we could’ve injected some 2 count near falls here, because I bet those bars were wide but I digress. Maxx goes in - sig, 3 fins. Japanese finish, good ending. Devon If i had a dollar for every time I’d heard the “rules of pimpin’” in OCW I’d be a very rich man. SMASH THE PATRIARCHY! Decent promo, hyping the division, but I hate the word “banger” and think everyone that uses it should be stricken from OCW. Oh shit I just typed it. Am I the hypocrite? Story moves, like I said, it’s messy but they’re working it out. Teaser for Main event Emp is working out of her skin at the moment. Doing work to get everyone else over. Does the best work, easily main event level. Fuck you though. Lobby are Great. Shianne I wish this youngster would stop yelling, Jim Black is a senior citizen, he doesn’t need this level of aggression. One thing to note here - Jim calling Flojo a weasel when Flojo is currently on a face arc feels like it could’ve been avoided - OCW is a team sport, and Jim is a company man. Decent promo though, we’re on a theme of getting things pretty good tonight. Parking Lot Stuff Oh yeah, the backstage chaos Devon mentioned. Took a while but we’re finally here. Chance no-selling his match and he’s ready to go home. Again, probably not something that can be blamed on Chance, but even still. Jarring. I feel like Chance’s monologue was a little wordy - I would’ve liked to see Devon make the save, but he got lost on the way. Don’t look at me, I had nothing to do with this. Deaver/Green So there’s one really solid thing here - it’s an actual conversation with people talking like people would talk. So big plus there. I wish this thing would click into gear soon, but it’s not offensive to me, clearly setting up something else, so we’ll wait and see what comes of it. Greene is doing Versus late 2000s shit and I’m here for it Heather vs Moore *** Glad Heather left that silly simp in his box, attire is nice, entrance is nice. Doc makes stars as long as he doesn’t have to write for them. Ashley has a great look, we all love Ashley. Until we get into the match and she turns into a meanie. Lots of kicks early, felt like there were some frames missing, which was weird, curse you DNS! Jesus wept look at Ashley’s heels, they can’t be regulation. More missing frames, lots of reversals, doesn’t really have a flow to it at all this match. I’m not vibing with it. I want to. I’m just not. Heather’s moveset upsets me. Doc always manages to find the worse, most indy looking moves. Cretin. S-Cup onslaught. Ashley beating the brakes off her, ref should call this now. Missed Mist. Say that 20 times fast. Heather trying to survive, Ashley isn’t interested. Demolition, but a boring one to me 😬. Lost half a star for the handshake. Deborah OCW has an epidemic of simps. Its too much! Deborah is coming to Turmoil! Good scene setting, I like Deborah a lot because Jek knows how to make people feel like a big deal. He doesn’t have that Alt syndrome that I often discuss. Both Deborah and Karmine are pointing me to next week and I’m excited to see what they got. Great stuff. Parca Mopey world champions are not my world champions. Lots of putting his past over. Lots of putting his pals/past opponents over. Nothing that makes me want to see him fight Maxx. I discussed it last time, but the laundry list of things that have happened to you does not build anticipation for a match. You can sprinkle them in here or there, but mentioning folks like KCB doesn’t feel big time for a World Title feud. It’s a World Title feud! Make me care about MAXX. Make me care about the showdown. None of this does. Hopefully the conversation next week does. Maxx/Bishop Good work on setting the scene, good work on talking like people talk. Could’ve done with this not being immediately after Parca (maybe earlier idk) because it was a bit jarring again, but not Maxx’s fault. Little bit of intrigue, little bit of building…something, Riot rumbles on. Perfect Storm Again, but for real this time? I like the promo set up BUT I would like it even more if poses changed when the person speaking changed/or a sentence ended for the same person. That way I don’t feel like I’ve missed something if I glance away, which I always do when H2O is talking. They try to unpick some of the logic holes from the match earlier. Wrex looks like he fucking stinks. Kass arrives and the crowd goes mild… PIPE IN SOME POPS BROTHER. Kass references the past in a passing way. He doesn’t dwell on it, the correct way. Then things got confusing as he was talking to Wrex but facing… idk. Maybe indicate he’s talking to Wrex. Some of these lines are a bit… not English. And a damp squib ending. Shame because I like all 4. EMP vs SUEPLEX ***¾ Sue Plex is one of my favourites in the wimmins division, mostly because she’s easy to get behind. Classic face stuff. Emp stinks but like i’ve said so many times, is a star. Star star star. The best Wimmin in OCW history no doubt. Caution tape was cool. Good back and forth to start this one, Sue doing some POWERFUL shit to keep Emp flat, but Emp soon takes over and Sue forgets to put her fuckin hands up. Goes back to some heavy back and forth and it’s really fun into the end. Ending out of nowhere but I really enjoyed this match. Fuck EMP Dramatic Finale Dug the comic book style of this. Think the Valmont beatdown thing might be played out, but I digress. Is Emp dressed like Aladdin when the Genie makes him a prince? I would’ve loved this to be a voice promo. I can visualise it and hear it in my head. Attempted murder and an iconic shot of JCS carrying that dumb bitch’s carcass. It was pretty fun. Well produced, and dumb as fuck. Well done. me waiting for Devon to show up in the parking lot
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