Riot 565 - Deluxe Homecoming!

It's review time, what a show.

Pugh RP

Pugh's a great talker, I liked this promo. I'd love for the rhythm of the actions to be more varied, rather than 'He does thing, he does other thing', but it definitely looks like Pugh's best when the guy's talking, so I can't complain that he accentuated his strengths here, good stuff, I like it. Shame we're on different consoles.

Danny promo video

Shit, I have done such a turnaround on Danny. I was pretty clearly a bit 'u cheeky lil cnt leavin the ring' when Colin and Danny last met, but if he's gonna roll with the 'Fuck your five stars in the Tokyo Dome, it's my belt now' gimmick, then bloody fair play, this is the stuff I'm talking about when I say about turning stuff that happens in matches into stories. I hope he's a right bastard with that title, because if he is, he'll put someone over big one day when they kick his arse, and that's all I can ask of a heel champion.

Maxx, Spider, Quartz promo.

I really like Quartz being around the others in the roster, he's a very solid writer, and there's a lot of stuff being built that he'll be able to draw on later in the reign.

QC Connect

I'm not sure. The workload Marisa is putting in is really impressive, but truthfully, I'm just not immensely big on NPCs in videos. I think there's great potential for Marisa to have stories with members of the roster all over the place (I'll get into this later, but Asher should be screaming for a Marisa story), they're clearly creative, and I reckon we could have some amazing 'Oh shit no!' moments with certain people aligning themselves with Marisa. Potential, well made, not hugely for me, though Evelyn/Marisa should be fun.

McBlaine promos.

I hope that McBlaine finally gets Mendoza after he killed her partner. Seriously though, solid stuff, I like the description, as I'm new here, I do not have a clue what's going on, but the styles distinct enough that I'll be able to follow this story in future shows. Good stuff, keep it going.

Wrex and Aisu

Noice, universe building. Wrex and Aisu meet, they've got a common enemy, short, sweet, to the point.

The Judge

Yeah, alright. I don't like jobber matches in real life, so I'm a bit eh here, but Jordan Trance is gonna be a great story when that comes through, got a big meaty guy vs a smaller whippy guy, it's always a good dynamic, and both of these guys can do promos. Good stuff.

Emp + Ashley

Oh please give me a feud about dropped hotdogs. What an idea. My aversion to having food on my skin has just made Emp an ultra heel, and I'm here for the match.

Evelyn vs Flojo

The background music gave me real No Mercy vibes here, but I did enjoy this match. Competitive, and great to see on the VC, cannot complain.

Locke & Key

Quartz did a great job of letting himself be sucked into my shitpost orbit, so thanks to him for helping this segment work!

Parca is ded

Holy shit Danny moidered him. I'm conflicted, right, the sort of 'I lost a big match, and I will sell it as near death' is a bit of a trope, but I know Parca's trying to explore new aspects of his character and level up his writing, and now he's not a singles champion, this is the perfect time to do that. Well played, I'm keeping an eye on his development.

Asher vs Colin + post match promo

I'm gonna lump these together, I really enjoyed this match. I hugely underestimated Asher, not being hugely familiar with him, and I took a good loss. If, however, he had more of a character, he'd be rolling. His 'sexiest man alive' gimmick is inherently a heel gimmick, whether he's an optimistic bro, an incel, or a narcissist, it can't be a tweener gimmick unless you are a phenomenal writer. If he had a story with a clear heel/face dynamic, and messaged Marisa for some promos, he'd be someone to keep an eye on, and I hope I see him about more. Fair if he's got time constraints, a busy life, etc, can't judge, but he's a good player.

Mujera promo

Yep, hype that match, I like how Mujera is as much of a bastard as Rust. I think she could afford to bury Valkyrie a little more, instead of doing the 'She's a threat, yep' thing, considering the hype Valkyrie's drummed up, but that's nitpicking, this did the job.

Nate Ortiz Trump Rally

I can't remember what World of Warcraft cinematic this reminded me of. Decent, never thought I'd say this, but I think this format would work better as a video. That said though, I'm seeing a side of Dominion I've not spotted before, why not, it works. Let's see how they do now they've lost some belts and a member.

Kassidy and Quartz

More Quartz title touring, good stuff, Ty's there, it's nothing immensely meaty, but it's building a few things, it'll be nice to see how they go from here.

Beef Battle

Good match, sufficiently meaty, but I'm really interested in the post match beatdown. Lucha Country are fuckin ded m8, and I need to see how they're gonna keep their belts. Looks grim, but hopefully they can do the good face things and win the day eventually.

Ashley meets Heather

Yep, short little conversation, some tension building, pretty good stuff, I like it.

Wrestling Club's ritual sacrifice

The numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for the Wrestling Club being sacrificed. H20 and DOC looked great, WC put up their best fight, and no one will blame them for this loss. The other guys were on fire, and as I said on the voice party, I don't even like tag team wrestling all the match and I was entertained. Good stuff.

Capitol is stormed

Who let Jon Schaffer in the fed? If you're reading, Jon, Iced Earth fucking suck, and Hansi Kursch carried you through Demons and Wizards, you downpicking donkey.

Yeah, this was pretty good.

Pugh diss track

I have no idea what this is, but I'm intrigued. He said he wouldn't but I hope Pugh sticks around, people clearly wanna give him a fight, and that'll just be a fun time.

Holly + Ashley

Ah, spooky shit, I love this stuff. This may be a huge backhanded compliment, but the lack of punctuation in the speech makes me read this in a very flat, stilted way, and whether it was intended or not, I feel like it put the character across. Nice.

Terra + Valkyrie

Yeah, Terra's still great, one of the best written characters here. Valkyrie played a blinder pulling the 'I was pregnant you tree hugging donkey' card on Terra, and this is a rivalry I can really get behind.

Judge + Jordan

Jordan's speech was fantastic, can already tell he's a great character to be going into this rivalry. It's gonna be very satisfying when he beats the Judge.

Kassidy calls out Doc

Yeah, solid. I do not like cutscenes, but DOC's still got a great presence, so it works here. The cutscene's well made even, fair play, and the story makes sense. Well up for this match.

Blacksmith Promo

Hmm, interesting stuff. Blacksmith, to me, is a natural heel, whether the audience like him or not, his manner is very heelish, and here, he's almost sympathetic. I say almost, because his 'I may not be able to beat you' goes side by side with his 'But I might outlast you', giving a really threatening twist on what could've have been a face promo delivered by a heel. This really, really works, and it's probably my favourite thing I've seen Blacksmith do.

SOCK PUPPET FIGHT

So yeah, this is why you should do stories with me. Credit to Jamie, because while I did spend half an hour in crunch position underneath a table while I bashed my sock puppet covered hands together for a few takes, none of this would've happened without Jamie saying 'can you do sock puppets', and me replying 'Only if I can give Archer a comedy american accent'. I don't do video promos often, but I hope that every time you see one from me, it's as batshit and stupid as this. Loved hearing the reaction to this, I'm always happy to give out a few laughs when I can. And, in the words of me voicing Thomas Archer, SEE YA AT DA CLAAAASH. Can't wait, thanks for the opportunity.

Cort hypes his match

Ah man this match will be brutal. Cort's a good writer, I like his style, I really do. I really want a sort of lampshade-hanging US based rivalry with him, reading his character, it could be loads of fun, good promo.

KD Voice promo

KD's promos just kill me, great stuff. Remember how I said about the US based rivalry? I fucking died at 'I know you're one of them Proud Boys'. Jesus, he's on the money. My new ambition is to be relevant enough to have KD shit on me in a promo. Love these things.

P3

I still have no idea what these are. I like how these promos seem to just have a basic premise that they just riff on, sometimes it hits for me, sometimes it doesn't, but considering my methodology is basically 'Think of a basic hook, riff on his for pages on end', I like the feeling these give off, never quite know what's gonna happen. I do think that some of them rely too much on all caps screaming, but the subject matter here suits it, with the accendocoin, and the kind of stuff that's happened with Wallstreetbets recently.

Maxx vs Quartz

This was less of a murder than I expected, good match, Maxx got to put some of his stuff over, but in the end, Quartz was too much. Looking forward to this Quartz reign, it's promising stuff.

Lady Caleigh stuff

Yeah, I'm interested in this. The women's division is looking great at the moment, and I wanna see where all of these little stories end up, it feels like there'll be a big meeting point later on.

Blaine + Morrison

This is getting fun. Again, no idea what this is leading to, but Jehst is now involved, there's a mysterious logo, and generally, this stuff is well written, I really like it. The pictures are a really nice touch as well, especially with such dense paragraphs of description, it changes the pace and pulls you in. Just well done all round, great stuff.

Main Event

This match really surprised me, I thought Valkyrie had this in the bag with all the hype, but either way, great match, I was tired as hell on the VP, but this was a lot of fun, and now Terra's involving herself to push the Valkyrie story forward, really great way to wrap up the show.

All in all, amazing stuff.

Lets see if we can get to 15 pages to placate to those of us who live in 2006 who refuse to acknowledge Discord as a functional, enjoyable medium of feedback and entertaining back and forth and long for the days of no community contact through an entire day all for one post when they get off work.

just jokes

Here's the thoughts either way. Most everything's been covered so far, so I'll just give bips and bops of what stuck out to me.

- We kick off Riot with an older man yearning for the good days when he could fight Nate Ortiz. I think one of these two folks aged better than the other. Pugh's desperation and actual end-goals laid out is nice though. We then move to Ashley "McBlaine" being propositioned for sex by a sleazy hotel clerk, this was gross, but nice to see Blaine going somewhere with this post injury.

- Aisu's English has gotten really good. Why are europeans so much better at learning languages than us? Also what the hell is he trusting Wrex for?

- Man I love the Judge... and now SOMEONE IS PICKING A FIGHT WITTEM

- If Empress wins the championship on the back of her murdered hot dog, we will have reached peak women's division content. Emp is back in the game full time! Watch your asses!

- Man Colin's RPs (while long) accomplish so much. I admittedly didn't fully read his top bits when we collabed on this, but a re-read is satisfying stuff. The universe connecting and continuity is engaging to me, not to mention continued links back to his primary feud with UAE and Archer, not a week goes by that we don't get something like this too.

- an interesting twist on the "injury following a big loss" trope, as we're getting more development between Parca and Reese instead of one promo room/web exclusive then disappearing. Then later, Reese is absolutely ripped apart with a chair. Are these two gonna have the title stripped?

- Emp & La Mujera both gunning for the title. You love to see multiple wrestlers strive for the top prize instead of the opp and challenger in a bubble.

- I hate that Nate's heel bullshit works with the crowd chanting. With his acumen and longevity, I feel in real life even as a heel leader, the crowd would always be behind him. Unfortunately, with Dupree not giving Pugh the match he wants, it looks like there's only way way he gets on Clash.

The big guy is gonna use his backstage clout with Jay to win again. Fuck my life.

- Speaking of my title, Kass isn't just hanging out with a Cobra, he's living his life as a snake. His apology is fake and his desire to become LHW champion is very real. It's sometimes hard to get BRAND NEW stories in OCW but this'll be one of em. This should be fun. Kass v Doc

- Speaking of which... Bingo and Blacksmith!? After his monster win at Chill Faktor... Can you FUCKING IMAGINE crowning a new superstar in TLBS after Clash?! Man that'd be a blast, but the final boss is in the way.

- Oh god, as I speak on it before, Heather is now getting involved in the women's title picture?! WHAT IS HAPPENING.

- lol the booking joke in the 2nd Blaine RP popped me

- Is fucking Tibby been kidnapped? Pugh's fans going to serious measures to get what they want. The video popped me, very funny stuff. Reminiscent of the "One more match" campaign by AC Cobra 2 years ago, but not nearly as babyfacy. Will it work?

- NOW HOLLY?! Ashley is a busy woman tonight.

- I gotta tell you, I did NOT see a heel Judge coming with this open challenge, but I guess it checks out. Jordan's build up a bit of a sympathetic figure since he's debuted, getting his tiny ass chucked too and fro before capping his first big feud last week by proving he's super srs. If I recall, this is Judge's first real feud to sink his teeth into and I said I love judge, so I'm here for it.

- Blacksmith has transcended alignments at this point. This fiery in-ring promo is all baby work. I don't dislike it, but off the back of his attack and previous actions after the human pothole known as H2O, it's a curious shift back to determined underdog. Perhaps the respect will end after B17 lashes out, just as it did with Harvey.

- Colin vs Archer sock puppet battle is peak OCW, and idgaf what anyone else says about the matter. Make it the Main Event of Clash.

- Speaking of fiery baby promos, this was great. Short and SWEET. I'm admittedly a Cort Marshall mark, a Cort Markshall, if you will, but he gets right to the point here with some old school wrestling work to mix in with the preceding also-high-quality silliness. Wrestling is a shmorgishe board! Cort v KD II is something I didn't know I wanted until their run-in at Chill Faktor. Such great storytelling in a comp environment.

- It wouldn't be OCW without a P3 segment. Go watch!

- I don't need staff's protection for matches. Book me wherever you want, I haven't turned down challengers in 3 years and I'm not gonna start with 12 more lbs of added gold.

Suck my dick.

- God the House of Faith are fucking weird, though I do like Morgan & the new Lotus. Ashley just so busy, doing just what she did at the end of last season, keeping the universe connected and together. The three time champ picks up right where she left off.

- Blaine is the subject to much creepiness tonight. This was unnerving and weird as shit. Typical for Mike. Are we FINALLY getting the Mike return we were robbed of last Lution?

Matches were quite good all around. Lots of comp. Lots of action. Many seggies attached to matches, just :chefskiss: for tv-content. Nothing mind blowing, but hey.

Shouts to booking for getting MOTN correct, Main Event was a thriller and lived up to the hype. Mujera gets a big boost for beating Valk and honestly with her rust, stillc ompeting on the level she did, Valk doesn't lose anything there. Awesome match.

Seggie of the night has to be the sock puppet battle. GTFO