Cox News: Episode 1

Cox News: Episode 1

Our scene opens inside the recently formed News Division of Rush TV. The most downloaded woman in OCW history, Madison Cox sits at the news desk as our feed goes live.

Madison: Too urban.

Madison: It's a phrase that's been bandied about in the halls of OCW for months thanks to yours truly. Need I remind you that there are people in this company that have been here for over five years and have yet to say anything that is remembered.

Madison: However, after the events of Devil's Night we have to ask ourselves, what happened to a generation of black stars? Why are there no role models for african american children on Rush TV? Why? Because of the inherent laziness of the black wrestler!

Madison looks up as a representative from Rush TV literally faints. She blinks before looking back to the camera.

Madison: Devil's Night serves as a stark reminder that while they're jooking...see what I did there? Jooking and jiving antics may be entertaining, it's simply fact that a black wrestler can't be trusted in the spotlight of a company such as OCW. Take for example one Jookie Marley.

Madison’s weight shifts to face a different camera. A picture of Jookie appears behind her. She flashes a million dollar smile.

Madison: A 5 tool star in every respect except for his racial handicap. On a night when Jookie could have showcased his talents what did he do? I assume he was smoking marijuana, drinking cheap malt liquor, and intimidating good, hard working, Caucasian women like myself. He certainly couldn't be found in Detroit, and trust me, it's not hard to find a black man in Detroit

Madison shifts her weight to the previous camera angle. A picture of Tre Golden appears on the screen.

Madison: Not enough proof? Then let's look at the recent struggles of one Tre Golden. Mr. Golden, once thought to be a bright spot in the future of the company, is now relegated to buying a ticket like every other Joe Nobody watching tonight. Why? Ineptitude, laziness, no work ethic, and no respect for their betters.

Madison: The 5% Nation is yet another example. While they should be studying for their GED, they attack an innocent, hardworking american like Gentleman Jack. Do we do anything about it?!

Madison: Or what about the Broken one, Bray? A former member of the backstage political power house known as the ‘Turmoil Five’ was once touted as the future of Turmoil, only to run into...erm…

Madison looks to her left, asking why the producers are losing their minds.

Madison: Okay! We’ll say that he developed some mental...issues, due to folding under the stress of one Mr. Sensation handing him the world on a silver platter. The weight was too much, and it crushed his brain.

Madison: The sheer volume of gross negligence, incompetence, an unamerican values these “men” display every week disgusts me. Their demeaning of women, drug use, and foul language have no place in a modern society. No, these self proclaimed “savages” can come to reception desk here at Hard Cox News and claim their free ticket back to Africa.

Madison: It's time to wake up America. No more shall our sweet, innocent children be forced to watch these thugs and animals pollute our airwaves each and every week. Still don't believe me? Then I have one word for you America.

Madison: Smythe.

Madison: The news isn't all bad viewers. Through my tireless efforts I've proven that with the guidance of strong, free willed, independent white woman, that the average black wrestler can achieve greatness. If you simply look at Dennis Black, you will see, white is right. Let Dennis Black stand as a shining beacon in the dark for every black youth out there today.

A picture of the most polarizing duo in OCW history appears on the screen.

Madison: Also viewers, if you call our 800 number now and donate just $20 towards the Hard Cox News “Send Em All But Dennis Black Back To Africa” pledge drive we'll send you this lovely hand woven tote bag made by my own personal Vietnamese child workforce with my smiling face on it. Won't you call now?

Madison: Cox News, signing off!

Madison looks to the production crew, who are simply staring at her...

I, Jackson Montgomery, approve this message...unless KD says no.

hey hey hey, TKF controls you, after we shoved our foots so far down your throat they are pretty much the pole inside you like a ventriloquist dummy has and WE say you Approve this message Bruh, cuz bruh, ITS WHITE so ITS RIGHT Bruuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh

Even though it's spot on , Madison you gave Sophia another week to live Kat will be coming for you. Jackson my inner Malcolm X has said we have to fight to hammer out any tension in our team.

Aight sissies go ahead and watch your white television while I drool over that post in the ocw fb thread. Seriously that big white girl can get it.

Omg Madison! I'm speechless lmao

The deliverance of unexpected Cox often leaves me speechless, or full. We here at Cox news appreciate your support, H20!